


Thirty Years

by Stylinsonhorayne



Category: Avengers, Marvel, Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, I love them so much, M/M, Sort of Canonical, barely mentioned peggy, my gay sons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 05:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12857376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stylinsonhorayne/pseuds/Stylinsonhorayne
Summary: Steve sniffles, wipes his nose on the back of his hand, and glances up at Bucky through his thick eyelashes. The stare at each other and Steve watches Bucky's expression change to one he's only seen in pictures. Pictures of his parents from when they first met. Romantic movies...Oh.





	Thirty Years

Steve is five years old when his father dies. He doesn't learn until years later, at his mother's deathbed, that the cause was suicide; his mother, Susan, had always told him that it was a car accident.

Steve is nine when he meets his best friend, Bucky. Steve is on the playground, minding his own damn business when several larger boys show up. The start shoving him around, which shouldn't even hurt that bad, except that Steve is only around sixty pounds, ten thinner than he should be. And most of the weight is probably his bones, he thinks. The boys keep punching and kicking him and he can't help thinking "oh my god, this is it. This is how I die. Shit shit shit shit shit shit-"

His thoughts are cut off by a yelp from one of the boys as he's pushed back. Steve stares up at the large boy standing in front of him, like a goddamn hero. Steve feels like the damsel in distress, being saved by the daring, attractive hero. He doesn't notice the bullies retreat and his savior turn to face him; he's too distracted. And then he looks up at the boy and goes "wow." In his mind, of course. Or at least, that's what he thinks. And then the boy laughs and offers his hand to Steve.

Steve grabs it and lets the boy pull him off the ground as if he weighed nothing. Which he does. Doesn't... Whatever. "I'm Bucky," the boy says and Steve nods frantically, still gripping his hand.

"S-Steve," he stammers and Bucky grins.

"Steve. I like it."

***

"So, did your parents really name you Bucky?" Steve asks as the two walk to Steve's house.

"My name is James. James Buchanan Barnes. Which is kind of dumb, I think," Bucky admitted. "Bucky is a nickname."

"Well, I like it. I think it suits you."

"Thanks, Steve."

 

Steve is twelve when he has his first kiss. Her name is Dorothy, but it doesn't really matter. He doesn't "count it", since she was dared to by one of Steve's bullies. Steve runs home- well, speedwalks home with short breaks to catch his breath. He unlocks the door and flops onto his bed, his loud sobs shaking the bed ever so slightly. He feels a hand rest on his leg and stops, catches his breath, and turns his head.

Steve, expecting to see his mother, is surprised when he sees Bucky smiling sympathetically at him. "What happened, Steve?"

"Dot was dared to kiss me," he explains through loud sobs.

"Oh, my God. That's- who? Who dared her, Steve?" Bucky demands and Steve sniffles. Bucky sighs and says nevermind. He knows it isn't the time to raise his voice; it never is with Steve. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there-"

"What, to protect me? I don't need to be protected, Buck!" Steve whines. "I don't want to be protected. I'm not a little kid!"

"I don't want to see you upset or hurt. And if I can stop it, I'm going to. For the rest of our lives," Bucky tells Steve with a quiet chuckle. "I... I care about you."

"Thanks," Steve mumbles. "I hate them; I hate everyone except you. And mom," Steve adds and Bucky laughs, ruffling Steve's hair.

"Sit up. Come on," Bucky coaxes and Steve slowly pushes himself into a sitting position, still slumped over though. "Look at me, Steve."

Steve sniffles, wipes his nose on the back of his hand, and glances up at Bucky through his thick eyelashes. The stare at each other and Steve watches Bucky's expression change to one he's only seen in pictures. Pictures of his parents from when they first met. Romantic movies...

Oh.

He freezes and lets Bucky slowly, hesitantly lean closer to him. His face hovers centimeters from Steve's face for several moments before he finally presses his lips against Steve's.

This kiss feels different than Dorothy's kiss. It feels right. Bucky's lips are soft and dry; starting to chap. He finally starts to kiss back. And then they're sitting there, kissing eachother, holding each other, for what feels like forever- a good forever- until Bucky finally pulls away. "I think I hear Susan calling."

Steve nods and wipes the tears off his face. They kiss one more time and walk into the kitchen, pretending nothing happened. Susan knows, of course. She's always known they loved each other, even before they did.

 

Steve is nineteen when his mother dies. She had been battling Pneumonia for several months, each day getting worse. It was expected, her death, but of course unwelcome. Steve left the funeral as they started to drop her casket into the ground.

Bucky catches up with him and grabs him by the skinny wrist. "Steve..."

Steve yanks his arm away and glares at Bucky, who is immediately taken aback. "Both of my parents are dead, too, you know," Bucky mutters and starts to turn around. 

"Wait!" Bucky turns back around, arms awkwardly pulled up by his face as Steve throws his body against Bucky's. Steve attempts to wrap his arms around Bucky, but can only manage to get his hands on the sides of Bucky's back. Bucky smiles and slowly lowers his arms to hold Steve. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. It was rough on me, when my dad died. But I had Rebecca; we both comforted each other."

"I don't have a Rebecca," Steve sighed and Bucky snorted, ruffling Steve's hair from habit. 

"Asshole, you have me."

Steve smiles sheepishly and lets Bucky walk him inside the apartment. Which, he supposes, is theirs now. 

***

Steve is twenty-one when he's frozen in an ocean, the exact one he isn't sure of, but it doesn't matter. Bucky had died, serving his country- serving Steve- and while Steve had met Peggy, who was great and all, he felt that she would never amount to Bucky. It wasn't her fault, though. And Steve was sure that she was aware of that.

Steve accepts his fate the moment the nose of the plane breaks through the water. He feels nothing. His eyes close quickly as the salt stings them.

Steve is twenty-one when he wakes up, seventy years later in an unfamiliar room. He's told how he survived- the salt created a wall and stopped the water from reaching his lungs. Somehow, he froze like that, and his lungs were undamaged. 

Steve doesn't care, though. Steve just wants Bucky. But Bucky is dead. And the Howling Commandos are dead. And Peggy is probably dead, too. And Steve kind of wants to be dead.

Steve is twenty-four when he sees a man wearing a mask. He seems... familiar, Steve thinks, and doesn't realize until later why.

The man is Bucky.

Steve is twenty-six when he finds Bucky again. Bucky, who actually remembers him and their life. Bucky, who has always been there for him. Bucky, who he has been without for seventy years, which somehow, even though he was frozen for a majority of it, feels like even longer. Bucky, who he just wants to hold again.

But Bucky is terrified. Terrified of what they made him. Terrified of the fact that he still can't remember; that he still feels bad things sometimes. So he locks himself away.

Steve is thirty when he sees Bucky again. Finally. 

Steve is thirty when they get married, which is legal now. It's a secret, of course. A possibility of bad publicity, he's told. Steve doesn't care, though. He's with Bucky again. And that's all that matters.


End file.
